Keep A Straight Face

One thing that really helps someone who is prone to farting in public is the ability to keep a straight face. The certainty that everyone has about the identity of the person that just broke the silence of church or the classroom melts away when that person either looks oblivious to the sound or looks at someone else with a look of pity. Many of the few victories that I enjoyed in High School had to do with passing the blame for a sonic boom-like sound to the person sitting next to me. They would invariably be choking back laughter as they looked at me so the teacher would always assume that they were the culprit. Later when I went into the world of employment I was able to retain, and use, these same abilities. I remember one year I was working at a rustproofing company with several other guys that I was very friendly with. There was a wide office in the front of the building that had two desks that faced each other from opposite ends of the room. Customers would be brought in so the sales pitch could be applied to them or so that payment could be made when the job was complete. The men in management had a habit of going all out to impress the good looking women that came through the doors. That was natural, we were all mid-twenties to mid-thirties. One afternoon I looked through the office window and saw one guy talking away to a very attractive woman, one that he was very obviously trying to impress. I walked into the office and sat down at the other desk so that I was facing him and the lady had her back to me. Then I proceeded to rip several, very obvious farts off. The look on his face as he tried to control himself was almost enough to start me laughing.